England's Adults Broke Curfew, Got Hurt, or Had Babies — So Three Kids Walk Into the Oval

Here is a partial list of people who are not playing for England at the Kia Oval on Wednesday: Ben Stokes (nightclub), Gus Atkinson (nightclub), Ollie Robinson (knee), Jamie Smith (baby), Shoaib Bashir (dropped). Here is a partial list of people who are: Sonny Baker (14th first-class match), Jordan Cox (first Test), James Rew (first Test, called up yesterday morning).

England have not fielded three debutants in the same men's Test XI since the South Africa match at this ground in 2017. They have not started a Test with five players carrying one or no previous caps since the Headingley Ashes Test of 1993. The man captaining is Joe Root, who said last week there was a "zero chance — 0.1 percent" he would ever sit in the captain's chair again.

This is not a planned rebuild. This is not a bold new era. This is what happens when your captain goes to a Chelsea nightclub, your strike bowler goes with him, your keeper's partner goes into labour, your other strike bowler's knee gives out, and your spinner gets dropped. What remains is one of the most extraordinary XIs in modern English cricket — not because of who's in it, but because of the chain of events that put them there.

Start with Sonny Baker, because he is the most improbable of the three. He is 23 years old. He has played 13 first-class matches in his life. He was walloped for 0-76 in his ODI debut against South Africa at Headingley. His four T20 overs in Ireland cost 52, wicketless. He once considered studying biology at Oxford. He does karate. He drinks bone broth daily to strengthen his back, and is sponsored by a butcher for his meat-based nutrition programme.

He keeps a black notebook. In it he writes opponent notes — how they set up, what they look for, where they're vulnerable. He also writes down his dreams. Not the sleeping kind. The Test-cricket kind.

Hampshire captain Ben Brown, who has watched Baker develop all season, put it simply: "He's bowling absolute rockets at the moment. Almost every spell gets up to that sort of 90mph mark and he's making things happen." Baker's own assessment of his readiness? "That's for the selectors to decide. It's nothing to do with me. The only thing I can do is keep trying to learn."

Jordan Cox's path to a Test debut has been one long exercise in near-misses. He was due to make his debut on England's tour of New Zealand in late 2024, but was struck on the thumb in the nets and ruled out. He waited. He played county cricket. He scored relentlessly for Essex. Then, six days before the Oval Test, he walked out against Leicestershire and hammered 204 from 201 balls — only to be withdrawn mid-match to join up with the squad.

McCullum called it "a pretty compelling case." Cox bats at No. 7 in Stokes' absence — not because he's a like-for-like replacement, but because of what McCullum described as his "power and his rounded game." The head coach wanted to see him prove something in county cricket before thrusting him into Test cricket. Cox responded with a double hundred. What else was there to say?

Cox is 25. He grew up in Margate, came through the Kent academy, moved to Essex, and has quietly become one of the most productive batters on the county circuit. His old club, Sandwich Town CC, called him "one of our own" this week. He has waited two years for this moment. He just didn't expect it to arrive because Ben Stokes went to a nightclub.

James Rew's call-up was the latest of the three and the most dramatic. Jamie Smith's partner Kate gave birth to their second child early on Tuesday morning — the day before the Test. Rew got the call. He'd been on standby, but standby and playing are very different states of mind.

The 22-year-old Somerset wicketkeeper-batter has compiled 11 County Championship centuries since 2023. Only Dom Sibley and Joe Clarke have scored more Division One runs during that period. His younger brother Thomas recently captained England U-19 to a World Cup final and scored a maiden first-class century. Cricket runs in the Rew family like water through Somerset limestone.

He bats at No. 6 and keeps wicket. It is his first Test. He found out he was playing less than 24 hours before the start. That is the kind of week England are having.

There is something both absurd and oddly beautiful about what England are doing on Wednesday. They are walking out at the Oval with an XI that no selector would have picked two weeks ago. Root is captaining because Stokes went drinking. Cox is batting because Stokes went drinking. Baker is bowling because Robinson's knee went. Rew is keeping because Smith's partner went into labour. Archer is playing because he's finally done enough IPL recovery.

None of these three debutants asked for chaos. Cox asked for a chance — and scored 204 to make it undeniable. Baker asked to be left alone to keep learning — and bowled 90mph rockets until the selectors ran out of alternatives. Rew asked for nothing at all — and got the gloves handed to him with less than 24 hours' notice.

Baker was "absolutely gutted" after his ODI debut went wrong. He wrote it in his notebook, processed it, and went back to bowling at Hampshire. Cox was denied his debut by a broken thumb in a net session. He waited two years and answered with 204. Rew has been piling up runs in Division One so quietly that his younger brother has a higher profile.

England are 1-0 up. They are playing a New Zealand side missing Kane Williamson, who retired mid-series last week. Root said the only question he asked himself was "what is the best thing for this team?" McCullum backed Baker publicly and backed Cox privately. The Oval crowd, for its part, loves nothing more than an underdog story.

Sonny Baker will walk out with his black notebook tucked away somewhere, his bone broth digested, his karate instincts buried beneath a bowling run-up. He'll be bowling at 90mph in his 14th first-class match, in front of 25,000 people, for England. Somewhere in that notebook, this day has been written down for a long time.